


Trust and Faith

by Pinkwebby



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Handerslympics 2017, Implied Sexual Content, Minor Isabela/Hawke, Modern Era, Multi, Prompt Fic, Tarot Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 13:32:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11037189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkwebby/pseuds/Pinkwebby
Summary: My fic for the Handers Olympics!





	Trust and Faith

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt for this was the tarot card 'The Hanged Man'.
> 
> Key Word: Sacrifice. Upright position: trials, duty, faith, meditation, surrendering to something higher, intuition, discipline.
> 
> Reversed: foolish actions, escapism, lack of faith, fear and guilt, instability.

Spencer Hawke was a very trusting person. At least, he was in the beginning. That is how he met all his companions, of course. Varric, Fenris, Merrill, Sebastian.

Isabela.

Anders.

Each one had a special case and Hawke gave each one of them his trust. He would trust his life to them if he needed too. He trusted his heart to one as well. Maker know he was desperate for comfort after his sister passed away. Hawke supposed you could say he fell in love. The other party didn’t feel the same way.

“Isabela, I’m home,” Spencer kicked the door behind him closed, setting down the groceries on the kitchen counter. As he was walking back out into the living room, he tripped on something silky. Spencer used a quick bout of his force magic so he wouldn’t face plant the floor. He bent down and picked up a pair of underwear that were probably Isabela’s.

“Bela, can you please…” He trailed off, squinting into the living room towards his bedroom. A trail of clothes was scattered across the floor, some were definitely not his nor Isabela’s. Spencer’s heart sank and he swallowed hard. And the clothes stopped at his door. He forced his feet to move, picking up the articles of clothing as he walked through the living room and down the hall to his room.

The grunts and the soft giggles alerted him that Isabela had company. Spencer was now expecting the worse. He had been dating Isabela for five or so months, taking her where she wanted to go, having sex where ever she wanted, basically just letting her take the reins in the relationship. He thought loved her, he had thought about marriage, children. Even though those were wistful dreams that Isabela would never agree too.

Spencer could feel rage and despair growing in his throat and he didn’t want to feel this way. But, first off, if what he thinks is happening is happening, then they were doing it in his god damn bed. And secondly, she was cheating on him!

Fueling himself with that, he slammed opened the door. And on top of his bed, were two bodies mingled together. Isabela was on top, of course she was. And below her was…Merrill?

Isabela whipped her head around, tense. But when she caught sight of him, she instantly relaxed, rolling over to face Hawke completely naked.

“Hello kitten, you’re just in time,” She purred at him, spreading her legs slightly.

“Don’t ‘kitten’ me. You’re cheating on me, and in my own bed!” Spencer sputtered, his cheeks flushing red.

“What in the Maker’s name are you talking about, I was going to ask if you wanted to join!” Isabela let out a long sigh.

“Do I want--? Isabela, we are in a relationship. You can’t—do this!”

Isabela gritted her teeth as Merrill began to quickly gather up Hawke’s sheet and bowing her head to Spencer apologetically, “I didn’t know you were in a relationship with Isabela! I’m so sorry Hawke!” She scurried out.

“Look what you did! I just got her to open up to me, literally!” Isabela pouted, rolling over on his bed and picking up her phone, probably pulling up Instagram.

“Get off my bed, I’m very pissed off right now,” Spencer threatened.

“Speaking of which, what the hell made you think we were in a relationship, Hawke?” Isabela looked up from her phone, her eyebrows raised, “I told you when this started that I don’t want to be tied down. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.”

“So what, I was a…fuck buddy? That’s all I was to you this whole time?”

“I don’t understand what the problem is. A lot of people I know have friends with benefits,” Isabela shrugged her shoulders, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Isabela, I love you! I was thinking about a future with you, and all this time, I was just playing the fool?”

“Apparently so,” Isabela sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed and picking up one of Hawke’s shirt, slipping it over her head. She got up and approached Hawke, who had a fist clenched and was not looking at her.

“I had no idea you felt that way about me. If I had known… I wouldn’t have taken it this far. I care about you, Spencer, but not in that way,” She gently placed a hand on his bicep, and he flinched.

There was a moment of silence, before Spencer took a deep breath, raising his gaze to meet her honey brown eyes. His eyes were cold and upset.

“Get out. Just get out of my apartment,” He told her, his voice steely.

Isabela looked taken aback for a moment, before she nodded in understanding. She put on her pants and she began to walk out. Before she left, she looked back at Hawke standing rigid in his bedroom, not even turning to watch her leave.

“I know it won’t mean much, but I really am sorry, Hawke. I never meant to hurt you.” And with that, the door clicked shut.

Spencer looked down at his messed-up bed, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, and he tried his hardest to swallow them down. He didn’t want to feel this way. Squeezing his eyes shut, he slammed his fist into the doorframe. Hawke crumpled to the floor, hitting the back of his head against the wall. 

He scrubbed his face with his palm, curling his legs in front of him and resting his forehead on his knees. He didn’t know what to do, if he should do anything. He felt empty and upset, and he wanted comfort. Unfortunately, his dog, Havoc, was at Carver’s house via Isabela’s request when she moved in.

Hawke felt utterly betrayed and he could feel his trust crumbling, his heart shattering. He wondered if he deserved this, if he did something wrong in the Maker’s eye.

Spencer dug through his pocket, running his fingers through his hair roughly before dialing one of his friend’s numbers. He didn’t care who it was, as long as it wasn’t Merrill or Isabela. The phone rang twice before a breathless voice answered.

“Hawke?”

“Anders,” Hawke breathed out, his voice trembling. Spencer covered his mouth momentarily, trying to rein in his emotions so they wouldn’t all come rushing out while he was on the phone. “Are you at the clinic right now? Is it alright if I stop by?”

“Are you ok? You sound like you’ve been crying,” Anders said worriedly.

“Well, I…um, yeah I have,” He mumbled in reply, scratching the back of his head.

“I’m coming over now, are you at your house?” Anders demanded.

“Yeah, I am, but you don’t have to-“

“I’ll be over in 20 minutes, don’t move from where you are,” Anders told him, before hanging up. Spencer moved his phone from his ear, staring down at it in shock. Anders didn’t even let him explain himself before he just up and left his job.

Spencer stretched out his legs, his toes bumping the edge of his bed. He leaned his head back once more, fresh tears once more trailing down his face. Maybe seeing Anders was a good thing, they hadn’t spoken for a couple weeks. It was silly to admit now, but Spencer had had a crush on Anders when they first met. The roguish mage demeanor always got Hawke. When he thought about it, he didn’t really know why he started to mess around with Isabela.

As he was thinking this, he heard his door swing open, the brass doorknob hitting the wall quite hard. Startled, Hawke peeked out into the living room from around the corner. Anders was shutting the door, setting down his messenger bag and hunching over to catch his breath. Spencer watched him silently, wiping away the salty tears on his face. He wasn’t sure what to say, he was unsure if inviting him over was even a good idea.

“Hawke?” Anders called after a moment, his voice cautious.

“In the back,” Hawke croaked.

He heard his footsteps come closer and then a shadow appeared, Anders tall figure covering the light of the hallway.

“Hawke,” Anders repeated, his voice full of relief, “Are you ok, what happened?”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything serious,” Spencer told him bitterly, “Isabela just crushed my heart is all.”

Anders crouched down beside Hawke, his gold hair coming out of his ponytail and hanging around his long face. Anders tentatively reached up and ran his fingers through Hawke’s hair.

“Isabela? Isabela broke your heart,” Anders stated, eyebrows raised.

“Did I stutter?”

Anders put his hand under Hawke’s chin and forced him to look at Anders, “We’re talking about Isabela, right? The one who sleeps around, and has a new woman or man on her arm each day?”

Spencer could feel his anger boiling up in his throat, threatening to overflow. “What do you know! I loved her, and she told me she felt nothing. You don’t know anything about how I feel.”

“Ah, unrequited love. That’s funny that you think I know nothing about that,” Anders stood up, putting his hand out to Hawke.

Spencer raised his eyebrows at Anders’ comment, but took his hand. Like any mage, Anders’ hands were rough and calloused, but felt warm against Hawke’s cool skin. And for some reason, it sent a small shiver up his spine.

“Hope I didn’t worry you, I just wanted to talk to someone,” Hawke murmured to Anders, following him out into the living room.

“Well, I was kinda worried, but I feel better knowing it really wasn’t too serious,” Anders replied, sitting down on the couch and setting his leg on top of the other.

“Well, unless your healing magic can heal my broken heart, I’m shit out of luck, aren’t I?”

“Hawke,” Anders sighed, “It isn’t as bad as it seems, really. Isabela is like a…side dish. She just comes with the meal.”

Spencer gave him a look that had Anders cracking up. Hawke felt a bit miserable at this point, some because he had his heart stomped on, some because all of his friends knew that Isabela slept around and he didn’t.

“It hurts anyways,” Hawke sighed once Anders got his giggles under control, “Wow, this is going to be awkward during poker night.”

Anders snorted as Hawke sat down beside him. “I could’ve warned you if you’d only asked. I don’t really think Isabela would have suited you as a partner anyways.”

“Are you saying that because Isabela’s too good for me or I’m too good for Bela?” Spencer relaxed, a small smile coming to his face. It seemed Anders always knew how to bring a smile to Hawke’s face now-a-days, even when he was feeling awful.

“Isabela, too good for you? That’s funny, Hawke. She fucks anything that breathes,” Anders joked, knocking his shoulder against Hawke’s.

A warm feeling bloomed through Hawke’s chest and he smiled at Anders, chuckling. They settled into a comfortable silence, Hawke leaned back into the old couch, breathing in the scent of his apartment mingled with Anders. Spencer’s apartment usually smelled like Isabela’s perfume mixed with Axe body-spray. Now, it had the soothing scent of sweet apples that seemed to be coming from Anders. Hawke was dumb-founded that he just realized how nice Anders smelled.

“Well, since I’m here, did you want to order a pizza or anything?” Anders stood up, heading into the kitchen to look at the many menus Hawke and Isabela taped to the fridge.

“I’m curious though,” Hawke followed him in, leaning against the counter as he watched him shift through the mountain of menus on the fridge, “You said you know what unrequited love feels like. Are you saying you’re in love with someone now or…?”

Anders tensed up, crumbling an old menu up in his hand and tossing it in the trash, “Well, I guess you could say I know the feeling.”

“That’s not a proper answer. I would like the meet the person you like, Anders. Make sure they’re right for you, and if not, punch them in the face.”

Outside, dark rolling clouds covered the sky, and thunder boomed, startling both of them. Hawke turned to look at the window in the living room. A huge downpour had started, lightning streaked across the sky.

“Looks like a bad storm,” Spencer said, rubbing his chin.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Anders appeared next to Hawke, his arms crossed and his face troubled.

“Something wrong?”

Anders looked surprised for a moment, before he turned his face away, his cheeks rosy.

“About who I like…you already know them,” Anders told him, pulling the rubber-band out of his hair and letting it cascade down to his neck. 

“That’s a scary thought, who is it?” Spencer leaned against the counter. He wanted to figure out who Anders liked. Not just because they were good friends, but Spencer could feel something burning his throat, something that wasn’t positive. Like he was almost… jealous. But it couldn’t be, could it? Anders wasn’t his boyfriend, they had flirted before, sure. Maybe he even wanted to take it to the next level at some point, but it was too late now. Anders loved someone right now, Hawke was too slow and lost Anders all because of Isabela. At least he could supportive on the sidelines. Bitterness towards Isabela once again rose in his throat, mixing with the jealousy and making a horrible cocktail of emotions.

Anders suddenly looked up at him, his amber eyes burning with shock, hurt, and anger. Hawke stepped back a pace, wondering why Anders had gotten so mad all of a sudden. What was with that look?

“If you can’t figure it out, you’re an idiot, Hawke,” Anders turned on his heel, letting out a huge sigh, “Sorry, I… should probably go.” Before Hawke could get a word in, Anders made his way out.

Dumbfounded, Spencer’s feet moved on their own accord. He rushed out the door, taking the steps two at a time to try to grab Anders before he got in the car. He needed to say something, anything. Because if what he was thinking was real… no it didn’t matter.

Spencer threw himself outside and looked around in the pouring rain. He could make out Anders’ slender frame speed-walking towards his old beat-up car. 

“Anders, wait!” Spencer called, using force magic to propel him faster down the stairs and over the grass. 

Spencer grabbed the car door right before Anders shut it, peering into the car at the man. Hawke was now soaked, his mahogany brown hair plastered against his neck and cheeks and his white shirt totally see-through. Anders was not in better shape, looking almost like a wet dog with his blonde hair dripping and his light purple scrubs now dark and clinging to his small frame.

“Let go of my door,” Anders snapped, and flames began to lick at his fingertips. 

“No, I won’t. Not until you actually talk to me,” Hawke responded, gritting his teeth.

“What do you want to hear, huh? I don’t understand you. When we first met, you seemed so interested in me,” Anders got out of the car, “We flirted, sure, but we fit together so nicely. I thought maybe you were the one.” He angrily slammed his car door, his magic breaking the car window.

“Do you want me to say that I love you, hm? That I desperately wanted you to be mine even though you chose Isabela? That I wanted to break you up with Isabela at every chance I got? All the times I got jealous, all the times I wanted to hurt Bela because she was all over you, and you enjoyed her company more than mine. I would have given everything to be in her place.” Anders yelled at him, the rain still pouring heavily and making it hard to hear.

Hawke stared at him, his mouth open to say something, anything, but the words were stuck in his throat. Anders was… his friend, someone he cherished deeply. He was one of the first people he came out as bisexual too, the one who always kept his secret about cheating at poker. The one with the warmest hugs and the dorkiest laughter. He had a welcoming aura around him, especially when talking with patients at his clinic. He didn’t judge and he loved you for who you were. He was a mage, a talented one at that, that cared deeply about the injustice mages are given. He would be at every mage protest, every petition signing if he could. Was that someone Hawke loved, would he want to go out with Anders?

“I know it’s a bad time, with Isabela walking out on you and you finding out she sleeps around, but I just thought you should know-“ His words were cut off as Hawke surged forward and pressed wet lips against his.

It was only for a moment, only to get Anders to stop talking, but it worked. Anders looked at Hawke with a gaping mouth, his eyes a mixture of confusion and surprise.

“Don’t look at me like that, how else could I get you to stop and listen for a moment?” Hawke breathed, reaching up and cupping Anders’ cheek.

Whatever Spencer wanted to say was swallowed by another kiss, this time from Anders. And with that, everything they could say was gone. Anders broke the kiss first, taking Hawke’s hand and leading him back into the apartment building. They went up to Hawke’s apartment, locking the door and helping one another shed sopping wet clothes. Anders was on the bed first, bringing Hawke down with him. Moaning his name through most of the passionate night.

The storm outside mellowed out into the shallow patter of raindrops, the stars and the moon peeking through the blue see-through curtains in Hawke’s bedroom. 

Spencer laid stomach down on the bed, the comforter kicked off and the sheets only covering his ass. Anders had been roused from a peaceful sleep when Hawke shifted onto his stomach, spreading his legs down the length of the bed and resting his cheek on his crossed arms.

“Everything ok?” Anders murmured as he pressed his lips down Hawke’s shoulder blade.

A small, pleasurable shiver ran down Hawke’s spine.

“I’m just…feeling like we did something a bit rash and foolish,” He replied, burying his face into his arms.

“Why do you say that?”

“We didn’t even test the water before we jumped right in.”

“Well…that’s true, but it doesn’t matter as long as we feel something for one another, right?”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” Anders pressed his torso into Hawke’s back, running his hand along Spencer’s arms softly.

“Feel something for me? Or is this just some kind of one night stand. Will I be your fuck buddy like I was for Isabela?”

“Spencer Hawke. Look at me right now,” Anders demanded.

Flinching, he looked up at Anders, who was frowning deeply down at him. His hair was messed up from the many time Hawke carded his fingers through it, and it looked absolutely gorgeous. He wanted to wake up every day to a disheveled Anders.

“Just a few hours ago, I confessed to you. Why in Andraste’s name would I make you my fuck buddy. You know me better than that,” Anders pressed his hand to Hawke’s cheek and planted a tender kiss on his lips.

“I’m just… I don’t know what to think anymore. People I know tend to have hidden agendas that I don’t know about. I just don’t want to go through that again,” Hawke muttered, shaking his head.

“You can’t let what happened once or twice break your trust, Hawke. Have a bit more faith in me, please,” Anders laid his head against Hawke’s shoulder.

“Let’s take it slow from now on then, alright?” Hawke gently shifted onto his back so he could hold Anders in his arms.

“I don’t know if I can hold back after this,” Anders teased, nuzzling his neck.

“I won’t stop you,” Spencer replied, closing his eyes to sleep.

After a few moments of silence, Anders murmured, “I would sacrifice everything to be with you.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this had enough to do with the prompt, I wasn't sure about the idea but I didn't really have any other ideas so I rolled with it. Team AU ftw


End file.
